Anyways, I'm going to this kickass wedding BUT, in a shocking twist, I will not be going stag! I can almost hear a collective groan from all the single ladies and predatory cougars who will be attending the reception. Sorry, but I'm off the market. So who is this woman that managed to lasso this lone wolf? Here she is:
You may recognize her from some hit TV documentary series she says is on NBC. Her name is Pam. She keeps insisting that her "real name" is Jenna, but that's just a little joke we have between us. I know better. So Pam and I are a hot item now. You'll probably see us on the cover of the next People magazine. You might wonder why I have a beard in the picture above. That's because Pam likes me with lots of facial hair. She braids it with beads like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean.
And look at that face she has in the picture above. Sheer delight. She's so happy that she finally landed a real man and not that whiny Jim dude that works in her office. It's actually kind of a sore subject between us, so please don't bring him up at the wedding.
Anyways, THIS is the woman that I've been spending so much time with in the past 6 or 7 weeks. We've been going out in Chicago a lot, but I think we're going to buy an island in the Caribbean and move there. It's a secret island that only extremely beautiful people know about. So if you haven't heard about it, just look in the mirror and there's your answer as to why.
1 comment:
i hear pam's having a baby.
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