The most important decision EVER made...

Today I was on the intertubes surfing the interwebs, when I came across a product that stopped me cold in my tracks. I sad there, eyes transfixed on my computer screen. I knew right then what true love is. What people talk about when they realized that a piece of them has always been missing... but now you are finally complete.

Yes, today I have ordered a Snuggie (also known as a Slanket). This is probably the crowning achievement of my entire existence.

But as I was filling out the order form, I was suddenly paralyzed by indecision. What color Snuggie should I order? Royal Blue? Sage Green? Burgundy? I needed help from those closest to me. I sent out a mass text to every single person in my phone that said "Help! Emergency! Please call me ASAP!"

Apparently, people aren't that concerned about me because only two people responded. Anyways, through long deliberation and a length "Pro vs. Con" list, I decided to go with Royal Blue. Here's an advanced computer simulation depicting how I might look in the throes of ecstasy, wrapped in my Snuggie:

Rock Bottom.

Ok, I just finished watching the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother. There was a joke on there that led me to do research on Celine Dion (btw, thank you Canada!). That led me to YouTube, which led me to watching Celine's music video of "All By Myself."

I am alone, in my apartment. Drinking a beer. Unemployed. 1:30am. Watching Celine Dion's "All By Myself" on YouTube.

When people ask me if I've ever hit rock bottom, I'm going to remember this night.

My Celebrity List

Everyone has a list. You know the list I'm referring to. The five celebrities that you would be allowed to romance if you ever ran into them on the street. For example, Suzie has always had a thing for Kevin Federline, the winner of The Biggest Loser Season 2, Senator John McCain, R. Kelly, and Lindsay Lohan. I honestly can't fathom why she would chose four of the five on that list.

So without further ado, here's my own list:

Pam Beesly (alias Jenna Fischer). Awww, she's just so cute with that lovable "hometown girl" atmosphere.

Norah Jones. Can't you imagine her just crooning a soft jazz song to you on a rooftop balcony at night in New York City? No? I can.

Felicia Day. She's an accomplished violinist! Also, she's a hilarious writer/director/actor. And I hear that red hair is from Satan's evil oozing out of your head. Interesting.

Kristin Bell. She's cute as a button. Also, she played Veronica Mars on the hit network "The CW". So after we ate dinner and spooned, we could go solve a mystery or something.

Sarah Palin. This is just to get back at Suzie for hooking up with John McCain.