Like a phoenix, risen from the ashes!

Yes, you all knew that it would happen one day or the other. Connblog, that indescribable hint of class in an otherwise crass and unfulfilling interweb, has been reborn. You may ask "Why now? Where did you go? How do I know you won't break my heart again?" These are all amazing questions, and I hope to answer them all in time. But first, I have to address something of pressing importance:

My doctor almost forgot to give me a groin exam today! I only come in once a year, and every year I'm told that I am the pinnacle of the human condition. My cholesterol? Perfection. Heart rate? It's like listening to God himself keep rhythm. Bloodwork? Cleaner than yo momma after I finish giving her a bath.

So the fact that she forgot to check "down South" is kind of a major oversight! My doctor doesn't even take my bloodwork (someone else does). All she does is ask if anything's wrong in particular, check me for moles, and then give me a friendly handshake in the nether regions. Only three things she needs to do, and she forgot one of them! And then when she realized her grave mistake, she wasn't kind or gentle either. Just because you're embarrassed, Doc, there's no reason to take out your wild emotions on my ability to make children.

Goodbye, Dr. Sindhwani. Your callous disregard has cost you a delightful patient. I'll see you in Hell.