HOW TO BE THE SMARTEST PERSON ON EARTH IN JUST THREE DAYS !

I was going through a couple drawers in my old room at my parents' home and I found a bunch of old photos from my high school prom, my 16th birthday, college, etc. Going through a different drawer, I found a scrapbook that somebody had given me, but I had only partially filled.

Oh, Fate! You flighty temptress! Obviously, this day was meant for scrapbooking. I had no choice but to oblige. And rooting deeper through drawers, I found the following gem that I wrote when I was but a wee lad:

HOW TO BE THE SMARTEST PERSON ON EARTH IN JUST THREE DAYS !

Read this first!

Hello. My name is Connor J. Dolan. So you want to be a super genius? Well, then I guess I'll have to make you one. In this book are three, very short chapters. One chapter is assigned for each day you are in training. I am a person who gets right down to business. For that reason, I would like you to turn to the first chapter. Wait! Before you do, I must tell you something. If you try to finish my program before three days, you will be as you were before. So now I urge you, READ ON!

Chapters.

1. Your First Lesson

2. You're Getting Smarter

3. Your Last Lesson

About the author

So apparently, I decided I was going to create my own self help book. Who knew I was so entrepeanurial in my younger and more vulnerable years? Please notice that the "About the author" section is left blank. I guess I wanted to remain mysterious. I only wrote Chapter 1, and failed to finish the rest of my course. I guess that's why I'm only one third of a genius. By the way, I love the aptly named chapter titles. Also, the fact that in my introduction I mention how I love to get right down to business. Then I tell you to start the first chapter, but immediately tell you to wait. I'll post my insightful instructions in the next connblog entry.