Dre: A female version of "Hitch"

Dre set me up on an "almost blind date" last night. I say it was "almost" a date, because Dre told each one of us that we're single and should meet. But she apparently decided that we were incapable of human interaction without adult supervision, so she invited herself and a friend along to dinner. I guess something about me screams "I require a chaperone with girls."

I should also mention that yesterday I was experiencing one of the top 5 hangovers of my life due to the insane Christmas party I had attended the night before. Despite my temporary mental handicap, I feel like I managed to be a decent conversationalist. Here are highlights of how Dre made us feel super comfortable:

Dre: You smell like booze.

Me: What? Seriously?

Dre (trying to fan air away): Did you even shower today?

(My date is looking at me with wary, judging eyes.)

Me: YES, of course I showered! And I'm wearing cologne!

Dre: I can smell whiskey oozing out of your pores.

Dre then spent the rest of the night awkwardly and absent-mindedly putting her arm around me in the middle of conversation. One time, she was speaking, went to drape her arm around my chair but managed to catch herself at the last second, and tried to pull away. She ended up strangely touching my face with her hand and then attempting to continue with the discussion as if that were totally normal.

When the check came, Dre and I agreed to split the bill. But Dre discovered a tear in the plastic checkbook the bill was delivered in. Of course, her first instinct was to jam both our credit cards into the gap just to see if they would fit. They did. And of course, my card ended up getting trapped inside. My "date" almost had to pay for the meal before Dre tore open the checkbook and recovered the card.

I'm so glad that Dre managed to find time in her schedule to tag along. Without her, things might have been super awkward!